So I planned to come out to my mum shortly before returning home. As in bag packed, ready to go, just in case.
My mum offhandedly suggested we play Scrabble, so I set everything up. Scrabble would be good. Scrabble, chatter, nice cup of tea. A nice relaxing atmosphere in which to bury bad news.
Eight turns in, she glances at her watch and goes, “I have to go!”
Well. That fucked up my plan. I thought I had all the time in the world, and now she’s hurting about the house trying to find her handbag, phone, keys…
In short, the atmosphere is not calm. It is not relaxed. It is tense, and I am tense with it.
Once we were out the door, though, I told her. And I don’t want to tell you about the exchange we had because some things are private, and private they should stay. But it went well, and for that I am grateful.
As I was leaving to go to the train station, she hugged me, saying, “I love you very much- you are my son.”
I think that’s all I need.